


006

by kiholove



Series: one hundred true moments [6]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 12:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14189130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiholove/pseuds/kiholove
Summary: There's nothing that Hoseok loves more than Kihyun's beautiful smile.





	006

If Hoseok were to express happiness, express peace and comfort and contentment, he'd do it with words. Clear, plain, unambiguous words, spoken aloud with conviction and sincerity. That's just the type of person that he is, straightforward, honest, open and intense in his feelings, always wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see, no room for uncertainty or misinterpretation. 

With Hoseok, what you see is what you get, and it may be a little embarrassing sometimes, to be so exposed like that, but that's just how he is, and he's grown to accept that fact about himself, to embrace it rather than try to fight it. He knows he might get hurt, in fact, he's hurt often by putting his whole self out there and opening up so easily to the world. But it's worth it, to be able to live honestly, and for the times when his openness draws others to open up to him, people who might normally be hesitant to do so. 

People like Kihyun. 

And the thing is, Hoseok understands them perfectly, because Hoseok understands Kihyun perfectly. 

One would think that it would be difficult for Hoseok to understand someone like Kihyun, someone who resides on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. That is, the type of person who is closed off, hidden about their true feelings. It's not that the feelings aren't there; they are, in great abundance. It's just that they're buried underneath a million heavy defenses, carefully protected behind thick walls, impenetrable emotional safeguards. 

Hoseok knows the truth, that people like Kihyun are the most sensitive of all. 

And Hoseok knows that people like Kihyun are terribly afraid of getting hurt, so afraid that they'll do whatever it takes to prevent it, even if that means pushing others away, or never pursuing attachments in the first place. And when these types do show their feelings, they do so in often unusual, unconventional ways, in their actions, in subtle distinctions in their behaviors, and in their interactions with others. It's such a contrast to someone like Hoseok, turning emotions into such a puzzle, such a mystery, something to be detangled and interpreted rather than just simply _felt_. 

But as Hoseok has come to learn from being Kihyun's best friend for so long, for this type of person to open up to you is a great honor indeed, is itself a display of such unadulterated trust and friendship that it makes it worth all of the misunderstandings and challenges. 

Kihyun really is Hoseok's closest friend, really the most important person in his life along with his mother, and after their years of friendship spanning the most significant time in their lives, Kihyun has opened up to Hoseok in ways that he never has with anyone else. 

Sometimes it's in big, obvious ways, like Kihyun turning to Hoseok for a warm hug and soothing words when he's feeling troubled or depressed. It's Kihyun confiding in Hoseok all of his fears and insecurities, about himself and the future, curling up with Hoseok in a tiny bunk late at night, seeking comfort and advice and assurance, and a strong embrace to sleep safely in. And it's Kihyun crying into Hoseok's arms in a moment of intense emotions, whether they be feelings of sadness or confusion or relief or pure joy, letting everything out all in one rush without worry of judgement or awkwardness. It's Kihyun letting his guard down, allowing himself to be vulnerable, allowing Hoseok to enter into his heavily-guarded heart, and knowing without a doubt to expect nothing but unconditional support and love in return. 

And sometimes, it's in the little things, like Kihyun singing in the shower. 

They're at a nice hotel for their overnight schedule on the other side of the country, and Hoseok and Kihyun are roommates for the evening, a rare occurrence as they usually all stick to the age-based arrangement for convenience and efficiency. But Kihyun and Hoseok had been working a lot on their photography in the past few weeks, something that Kihyun had gotten Hoseok addicted to, and they wanted to take some time to go through their pictures together, Hoseok depending on Kihyun for advice and guidance as he improves. And so, they had talked Minhyuk into switching with Hoseok for the evening, and Minhyuk was all too happy for the chance to cuddle up with (annoy the heck out of) Hyunwoo for the night. 

And it's absolutely wonderful, just like the old days, when they used to often spend nights together as trainees and in the early days of their debut, before routines and company-enforced protocols were settled. The thing is, they just _get_ each other, know exactly what each other needs to feel comfortable and content, relaxed when winding down from stressful days. 

When they had arrived at the hotel room for the evening, Hoseok had showered first, but quickly, because he knew exactly what Kihyun would want after such an exhausting day packed with activities. Kihyun would want a long, _long_ shower, a true luxury when living together with six other boys in a little dorm. With Hoseok's quick shower, Kihyun would be able to take all the time he wanted in there, without worrying about saving time or hot water for Hoseok. And Hoseok was all too happy to give Kihyun the gift of such a simple pleasure, and he had smiled warmly as he exited the bathroom wearing one of the hotel's fancy bathrobes. And though Kihyun hadn't said anything, Hoseok could read his feelings clearly in his shy smile in return, in the appreciation shining in his eyes and the soft blush coloring his cheeks. 

Hoseok can't say there's much in the world that makes him happier than making Kihyun happy, can't say there's anything more beautiful than Kihyun's glowing smile. It makes Hoseok's heart feel all funny, and his mind confused, but in a way that's not unpleasant, not unpleasant at all, though he often wonders what it is exactly that he feels for his best friend and bandmate. When he sees Kihyun's smile, when he hears Kihyun's laugh and watches as his eyes crinkle up adorably, something stirs deep in Hoseok's gut that makes him feel like he's swallowed sunlight. But he's always quick to dismiss those thoughts, to shoo them away, because as much as he'd love to pursue them, as curious as he is to know exactly where they'll lead, he knows full well, as a hyung, as a member of an idol group, as someone that the others look up to, that he can't. 

He knows that to pursue those thoughts is dangerous, a slippery, slippery slope. 

What it all comes down to is that he's happy when Kihyun's happy, and Kihyun's certainly happy right now. Hoseok is sitting on his bed in his pajamas, propped up by a stack of perfectly fluffy hotel pillows, clicking through his camera to look at all of his recent photos. Kihyun had gotten him absolutely hooked on photography, and though Hoseok still has a lot to learn, he's enjoying it so much, capturing gorgeous shots everywhere they go. Kihyun really is an amazing teacher and partner, patient and open, but not afraid to scold when necessary nor to let loose and be silly. Hoseok's excited to see Kihyun's recent photos tonight too, and a little voice way at the back of his mind wonders if Kihyun has as many photos of Hoseok as Hoseok has of him. The thought makes Hoseok feel warm for some reason, soft and gooey inside, a feeling he's come to associate with Kihyun and all of their time spent together. 

Kihyun's still in the shower, steam and the sweet smell of his shampoo billowing out from the cracks in the doorway. And he's singing. Hoseok grins, his ears perking up in amusement. 

Kihyun is, of course, an amazing singer, and there's nobody who appreciates his beautiful, honey voice more than Hoseok. But right now, it's not Kihyun's professional, immensely talented idol voice that he's hearing. No, Kihyun's singing right now is loud, and slightly offkey, and kind of hilarious, the kind of singing people do alone in their house with nobody else around, and Hoseok laughs aloud at Kihyun's lack of embarrassment. 

Hoseok feels a rush of warmth blooming in his chest, because he knows that the out-of-character terrible singing means that Kihyun is happy. He feels free, and comfortable, and doesn't care at all that Hoseok's there and listening, and he feels open enough to sing his little heart out without worry of judgement or his own perfectionism. He's singing just because he wants to sing. And it's not perfect, not by a long shot, but Hoseok loves it anyway, loves hearing Kihyun be free like this. 

It's beautiful, in its own crazy way. 

After another twenty minutes or so, Hoseok hears Kihyun turn the water off followed by a few moments of pleasant silence as Kihyun dries off on the other side of the bathroom door, Hoseok's ears focusing in on Kihyun softly humming to himself, continuing where he left off in the song that he was singing. 

Eventually, the door opens and Kihyun steps out in a bathrobe, enveloped in a swirl of steam, and Hoseok nearly coos at how adorable he is. Kihyun's absolutely swimming in the bathrobe, the sleeves falling well past his hands and the bottom hem well past his knees, and his bare feet patter softly on the hotel carpet as he carries his pile of clothes over to his suitcase. Hoseok also takes note of Kihyun's damp hair sticking up all over the place from being towel dried, and Kihyun's face flushed from the heat and glowing, Kihyun looking like a baby fresh from bathtime, and Hoseok's heart nearly bursts in fondness. 

Hoseok thinks that Kihyun really is the most adorable person on earth. 

Hoseok watches intently, wondering if Kihyun will notice him staring, as Kihyun goes back into the bathroom. Kihyun leaves the door open as he steps up to the mirror, and Hoseok lifts his head up slightly so that he can peek in to see Kihyun beginning to apply various creams and serums onto his face for his skin, still quietly humming that same song to himself and focusing on his reflection without a care in the world. He pats his full cheeks and scrunches his little nose at the mirror and he looks so very mouse-like that Hoseok's heart skips a beat, skips several beats at the cuteness. 

Hoseok feels suddenly overcome with love for his little friend, feels an uncontrollable urge to cuddle him, and so he gets up off of his bed and steps over to the bathroom, right to Kihyun, and before Kihyun has the chance to even realize what's happening, Hoseok comes up behind him and envelopes him in a tight backhug, wrapping his arms firmly around Kihyun's waist and burying his face in Kihyun's soft hair. 

"Hyung," Kihyun murmurs, freezing in place, blushing pink, shy and flustered as Hoseok hugs him tightly from behind and nuzzles into the back of his hair, nosing the back of his neck. "What are you doing?" 

Hoseok hums deep in his chest, eyes closed as he takes in Kihyun's sweet scent and his soft, tiny, oh-so-huggable body, fit perfectly in his arms. "I'm just happy that you're happy," Hoseok says, his voice muffled by Kihyun's hair. 

"Ah, okay," Kihyun says, timidly, and he tries to return to his skincare routine even as Hoseok keeps his koala hold on him the entire time, but Hoseok can tell that Kihyun won't be able to focus now, not with Hoseok holding him so close, pressing him right against Hoseok's chest. 

Hoseok rocks Kihyun in his arms a bit, and gives him a gentle little squeeze, and Kihyun smiles wide, his whole face lighting up in delighted shock, in laughter, in a million other feelings that Hoseok sees flash through his eyes. And Kihyun's smile, his glowing, beautiful smile, it's the most wonderful, precious thing, Hoseok's light and treasure, and he'd do anything just to be able to see it, and to see Kihyun like this, soft and open and free, smiling, smiling for _him_.

Hoseok's heart is pounding hard as he keeps his arms tight around Kihyun's waist and hums softly into Kihyun's hair, and Kihyun seems to grow increasingly nervous, increasingly shy even as his smile grows wider. And in a moment of wild boldness, Hoseok presses a soft kiss to the back of Kihyun's neck, barely even a touch, just a brush of his lips, and Kihyun actually squeaks, squeaks and drops a bottle of lotion onto the floor with a loud clatter. 

They both laugh nervously, Hoseok not entirely sure what came over him to do what he just did, and Kihyun wriggles out of Hoseok's arms, bending down to retrieve the bottle of lotion. As he stands back up, he turns around away from the mirror to face Hoseok and his wide, blushing smile melts into a breathless gasp at their sudden closeness, Hoseok still standing in the same spot and Kihyun's back now pressed against the sink, Hoseok gripping onto the edges of the porcelain and caging Kihyun between his arms. Their faces are so close that Hoseok feels like he can see every molecule of Kihyun's soft, flushed skin, and like he can see every sparkle of light reflected in Kihyun's wide, beautiful eyes, flustered and looking right into his own. 

Both of them are frozen in place, and there's this sudden strange feeling that passes between them, like they're both completely open and exposed to each other, laid bare for the other to see, no boundaries or filters, just the two of them, seeing each other fully, completely, genuine, raw and real. Kihyun's eyes dart wildly all over Hoseok's face and his mouth opens slightly, a reflex, and Hoseok feels the sudden urge to kiss those soft pink lips, wonders if they'd taste as sweet as they look. The next few seconds go on forever as they both stay frozen like that, expectant, but neither one does anything but stare, tense and terrified and excited. 

But then, just as quickly as it came, the moment passes, and the tension in the air between them diffuses, all of that tight, coiling excitement releasing in a great rush as they laugh it off again and separate, Hoseok awkwardly taking a step back as Kihyun nervously turns around to face the mirror again and resume his skincare, this time with his face glowing red. Hoseok only now feels how fast his heart is beating, and the millions of little tingles lighting up all over his body. 

"Finish up soon," Hoseok says breathlessly, quite flustered himself, trying to make eye contact with Kihyun in the mirror. "So we can start looking through our pictures." 

"Sure thing, hyung, I'll be done in a minute," Kihyun says quickly, avoiding Hoseok's eyes. 

There's a moment of awkward silence, and then Hoseok steps away from Kihyun and out of the bathroom, smiling nervously to himself because with all of the feelings he's been feeling towards Kihyun, he knows now that Kihyun is feeling the same way, knows because he just saw it, just saw right into Kihyun's heart and soul in that strange, completely transparent moment between them. 

And the thing of it is, moments like this have been happening more and more often lately as the line between them, the line between friendship and something more, becomes increasingly blurred. Hoseok supposes they've already begun to cross it, but not quite made it to the other side, stuck right in the middle, right at the wonderful, terrifying, exhilarating space where the potential is limitless, as is the risk, and they both know it. 

But for the time being, Hoseok just wants Kihyun to be happy, and to feel safe and open and comfortable, and to keep smiling that beautiful smile of his.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on twitter @justiceforkiho


End file.
